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Update (7 Dec): Archive.org, the server where I host the podcasts, appears to be having problems at the moment.

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WorldNetDaily columnist Jim Rutz declared in a controversial column recently that overconsumption of soy products causes males to become homosexuals, citing soy’s relatively-high estrogen content.

“Soy is feminizing,” Rutz claims “and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion, and homosexuality. That’s why most of the medical…blame for today’s rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise of soy formula and other soy products.”

WorldNetDaily editor-in-chief Joseph Farah, amidst massive hate mail from leftist websites, immediately defended Rutz, and called for women to be banned from eating beef, pork, poultry, beans, and dairy, for fear that increased testosterone levels might make them homosexuals, too.

Officials at the University of Arizona complimented the study, and are planning to increase the availability of soy in on-campus food in order to facilitate an increase in diversity. In contrast, Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University has banned tofu, calling it “The Curd of Tinky Winky.”

This news report is brought to you by the Law Offices of Bob Schmuck. Did your mother feed you soy as a infant? Are you sexually confused? Recent medical research has found that your sexual confusion is not your fault, and you may be able to sue for damages. For a free consultation, call the Law Offices of Bob Schmuck at 1-800-SOY-MILK.

Editorial note: I still affirm that homosexuality is a sin just like any other sexual sin, but that doesn’t stop me from thinking Jim Rutz is stupid.

Music is "Stop Yield Go Merge (Extended Les Thorn Mix)" from Derek K. Miller of Penmachine. 

One major cost of business for Arizona Student Unions is the Center for Student Involvement and Leadership, which performs much of the major adminstration for officially-recognized clubs, "Greek" organizations, etc. on campus. 

If you’re just looking for something at which to either laugh or shake a fist, allow me to direct you to the Social Justice Leadership Center.  More such gall came from last night’s ASUA Senate meeting [emphasis added]:

Transgender Awareness Week will take place from Nov. 12­ through 20 and will feature events on campus and around the city, said ASUA officials at last night’s senate meeting.

Jessica K. Pettitt, coordinator of social justice programs, said one of the major events of Transgender Awareness Week will be the Free-Expression Walk on Nov. 18.

The walk will be composed of teenagers, and Pettitt said they will be excited to see the university community come out to support them.

The week is put on by the Center for Student Involvement and Leadership and Wingspan’s Southern Arizona Gender Alliance.

Pettitt said she wants as many groups as possible to attend the events because it is important for the transgender community to have support.

"We have come up with extensive training programs and events," Pettitt said. 

That eighth serving this week of overpriced Panda Express orange chicken you’re eating right now just got that much tastier.

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Related satires:

• Social Engineering!
• In Support of Equality
  

The Wildcat has an article out today concerning campus-area restaurants wanting the ability to accept CatCards as a method of payment.  For those of you outside the University of Arizona, the CatCard is our official ID card.  There’s a "SmartChip" on which one can load money for dorm laundry, and a magnetic stripe on the back for use with security doors or the Arizona Student Unions meal plans.

Ultimately, the manager of Arizona Bookstores–a private textbook vendor with two locations just outside campus–put it best.  The CatCard’s lack of compatibility with off-campus restaurants and supermarkets is Arizona Student Unions’ best friend.  Parents of incoming freshmen will load bewteen $1,650 and $2,850 onto the plan expecting the student to eat that much food from the union throughout the year.  Then the freshmen discover that, yes, Panda Express gets old after eating it for dinner every night for a week despite a discount and sales tax elimination on every purchase.  The freshman who ends up not using up the plan has the option of either making a large involuntary donation to Arizona Student Unions’ deficit fund or holding very large pizza parties in the dorms. 

Outsiders please note: the University of Arizona has no actual "dining hall." Rather, it’s just a bunch of restaurants mostly within a couple of food courts.

Imagine a world where the Union people shut up about mandatory meal plans or union fees (link outdated) and are actually forced to improve the food.  That might start with telling ASUA (the student government) to pay for its space within the union.  The current situation between the two only gives the Union more financial trouble and more justification for charging mandatory fees for bad food.

Previous related satire:
The Mandatory Meal Plan: In Support of Equality

Today’s Wildcat notes that Arizona Student Unions is still in financial trouble, despite having increased food prices by five percent.

First off, I have no clue where they’re getting these numbers.  It’s only four days into the fall semester, and you’ve already made an accurate calculation of revenue?

Secondly, what doesn’t get brought up is at least one thing that they’ve been doing for free for a very long time.  According to my sources at ASUA, ASUA doesn’t pay any money for its office spaces within the union facility (do correct me in the comments if I’m incorrect).  If ASUA expects to have any leverage in keeping the prices down, they’d better know that trying to control the prices of an organization that’s giving them something for free isn’t going to be effective.

Perhaps helping the union out a bit would be less of a waste of money than funding Iraq the Vote and the Women’s Resource Center (see next post).