War on Jim Pederson!
After the collapse of the Alliance of Free Blogs, I am glad to have been found by the Cactus Alliance, a growing collective of some of Arizona’s most interesting conservative and pro-life blogs. Yes, I am stealing some of Austin Bay’s language there.
Now that we’ve won the blog war against Glenn Reynolds and the Axis of Naughty, I suggest blog war against an even more dangerous foe: Jim Pederson. Imagine: we can lie about how Jim Pederson sticks cute puppies in blenders and drinks them, thereby causing him to lose his far-left, pro-animal rights voter base, guaranteeing a win for Jon Kyl.
The narrative could go something like this:
Hey, everyone! It’s Garrett. I hope you’re having a good week, but I have to tell you about this horrible thing I found out. See, I ran into Jim Pederson today and he was drinking what looked like some sort of smoothie. So I asked him, "Hey, Jim Pederson, what are you drinking?"
And he said, "It’s my special energy drink to keep me fit and my intellect sharp."
"Wow," I responded, "How do you make it?"
"I put a puppy in a blender!" Jim Pederson laughed and then took an extra long sip.
"You can’t put a puppy in a blender!" I said in complete horror.
"I can do whatever I want! I’m Jim Pederson!"
"You monster!"
He took another drink. "Mmmm… puppy. And, the cuter the puppy, the better the energy drink. Muh ha ha ha ha!" He then ran off, drinking his puppy.
Okay, so I stole the whole thing from IMAO. Perhaps we could come up with some other filthy lie and go with that? It’s not like Pederson isn’t lying through his teeth himself, right?
What do you think?
That slanderous picture looks very familiar…
Comment by Richard — October 18, 2006 @ 8:57 am